Feb 23

i am the youniverse

dear me,

i am writing this from the wasteland of what used to be, to remind you of the time you stopped being a boat and became the sea.

for a long time, you thought love was a form of architecture — that if you just held the rusted beams steady enough, if you remained a reliable shelter in the ruins for the storms of others, you would finally belong to the world. you mistook being "needed" for being "worthy," and "worthiness" for being. you thought that by offering a "place where the dust settles," you were some kind of saint, when really, you were just abandoning the oasis of your heart to sit in the radioactive driveway of fallout ghouls.

remember this lesson: your "itchy and scratchy" body is not a flaw, it is your compass. that irritability, that "peeve," that feeling in your gut of being destabilized — that was your soul’s way of screaming that you were over-extending your borders into a dead zone. it was the signal you were trying to breathe life into someone else at the expense of your own oxygen.

you have finally learned:

• that a hard "no" is more sacred than a hollow "yes."

• that loving the potential of a thing is just a sophisticated way of suffering. in a world of ghosts, you now choose to love what is, even if it's parched silence.

• that no one can abandon you if you stop leaving yourself to find them.

you are no longer the container. you are the content. you are the witness and the witnessed. and you don't need to bridge the gap between people across this scorched earth because there is none — there is only the vast, unfolding landscape of your own awareness, reaching toward the sun.

when the world asks you to be a shadow, or to wait for a ghost to materialize in the dust, remember that you are made of solid, breathing light. you owe no one a version of yourself that requires you to go mute amidst the static. your joyous invasions are yours to lead. your peace is the only territory worth keeping.

you have taken off the mask and found no one — and in that "no one," you found the source of everything. you are the light you were looking for through the darkness of all the rest.

thank you for showing up. thank you ascended masters, angels, and ancestors for your presence.

i love you always. not because of what you can hold for me, but because you are the only one left standing.

for you are me, and i am the youniverse.

forever in your corner,

s